Oh, Nora, you clever girl!

I never thought I would write a post about the talented Ms. Ephron, but alas, with credits such as Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, and the peerless When Harry Met Sally, she remains one of my favorite screenwriters. (We'll temporarily pardon her for going to Wellesley...blech). Bless TBS for continuously showcasing her work.

Here's a hearty smattering of wonderfully memorable quotes (thanks, IMDB):

"You've Got Mail" (Meg Ryan [Kathleen], Tom Hanks [Joe], Greg Kinnear [Frank]):

• [Frank and Kathleen discussing her older friend's former fling.]

Frank: She fell in love with Generalissimo Franco? Kathleen: Don't say that. We don't know that for sure. Frank: Who else could it have been? It was probably around 1960... I mean, it's not like he was something normal, like a socialist or an anarchist or something... Kathleen: It happened in Spain. People do really stupid things in foreign countries. Frank: Absolutely. They buy leather jackets for much more than they're worth, but they don't fall in love with fascist dictators.

• [Joe standing on line at Starbucks, ranting to the cashier.]

Joe: The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.

"When Harry Met Sally" (Meg Ryan [Sally], Billy Crystal [Harry], Bruno Kirby [Jess]):

• [Sally and Harry discussing relationships.]

Harry: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. Sally: Why? Harry: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore? Sally: It's amazing. You look like a normal person, but actually you are the angel of death.

• [Harry and his friend, Jess discussing Harry's recently broken marriage.]

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong. Harry: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

And now, for some one-liners from my new favorite show, Family Guy:

Peter, riding a circus elephant: Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.

Peter: Lois, everyone has their sanctuary. The Catholics have churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery.

Peter: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says "OOOOOO". Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Peter: Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.

Peter: Yeah, I'm looking for some toilet training books. Salesman: Oh, yes, we can help you there. "Everyone poops" is still the standard, of course. We've also got less popular "Nobody Poops But You". Peter: Huh... well... you see... we're Catholic so... uh... Salesman: Oh, well then you want "You're a Naughty Child and that's Concentrated Evil Coming Out of the Back of You".

Stewie, after Lois tries to feed him his broccoli "airplane style": Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers!

Stewie: [plucks a banjo] Oh! I feel so delightfully white trash! Mummy, I want a mullet!

This show is too funny; it's hard to represent accurately in writing. Catch it on TBS, Cartoon Network (Adult Swim), and Fox - check your local listings. I sound like Barbara Walters on The View.

Have a great day!

...Scout's lady